it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
