please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
