apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it was like eating out sand paper
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
