You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i now understand why vodka
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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