Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
