Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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