Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
