I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
