i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
