but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
