i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
