The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
