Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
