I hate your face
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
