could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
