New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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