I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
