WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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