He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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