Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
