Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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