wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize