Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
