I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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