her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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