and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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