**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
