What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
