No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize