woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
