So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
