if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do vagina's smell?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
