opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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