why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
