mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
