pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
