im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
