Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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