have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Randomize