i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's blow job season.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
