Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
