Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
