I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize