she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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