I am puke
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize