its not stalking. its research.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
