It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
