I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
