WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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