if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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