Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
