I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
