My brain says no but my pants say off.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
