Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize