I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
