what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize