His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
