highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
