ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
