will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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