Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize