I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
