remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
