As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
