It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
