sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your cock deserves a montage
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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