so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
