I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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