butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
