you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
