More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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