Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Holy shit dude........stairs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
