and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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